{"product_id":"screwed-and-leveled","title":"Screwed and Leveled - Together","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSCREWED\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eShe handles her screwdriver every day, but she has no clue how much he likes it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eYeah. There’s a real man in that tool, and he’s determined to break a curse for love.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJulia’s a handy girl with a toolbox, a job using it, and a vibrating silicone toy that takes care of those other unmet needs. All that’s missing is a few grand for a new pickup truck to get her business running.\u003cbr\u003eA new contracting job with Jaeger Duke, the slimy son of a politician, will get her the dollars, but she doesn’t realize how dangerous this dumb, coked-up, nepo-douche baby can be.\u003cbr\u003eFortunately, the guy cursed to live inside her screwdriver knows the deal and is willing to strip some threads to protect her.\u003cbr\u003eUnfortunately, the woman he’s pining for only appreciates him for his flathead.\u003cbr\u003eThat’s when an itsy-bitsy spider that’s possessed by an ambitious demon drops by with a way to break the curse. Julia has to grasp her screwdriver’s thicker side in a very intimate way before she and her entire toolbox get completely screwed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(\u003cem\u003eoh look, she changed to first person and does not even care\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLEVELED\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy screwdriver turned into a real live man while I was using it to… satisfy myself. You can’t blame me for thinking nothing weirder would ever happen to me. \u003cbr\u003eComplete failure of imagination.\u003cbr\u003eI didn’t believe Caspian (my screwdriver has a name) when he told me there was also a guy (named Tony, for real) in my level. \u003cbr\u003eAnd sure, I’d love to meet him but the good Lord didn’t give me anything that fits a tool shaped like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSorry, Tony.\u003cbr\u003eExcept—one problem. We really do need Tony’s particular skill set.\u003cbr\u003eBut even solving for the square-peg-round-slot problem, we discover we have to keep it level—literally to the surface of the Earth—as the deed is being done. \u003cbr\u003eWhich uncovers the second problem… we’re on a boat.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CD Reiss Shop","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52522109600056,"sku":"EBCOMTO003","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/6187\/6280\/files\/screwedleveledlayout.jpg?v=1781702233","url":"https:\/\/shop.cdreiss.com\/products\/screwed-and-leveled","provider":"CD Reiss Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}